


Dreams

by Am-Chau (Vacillating)



Category: Firefly
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-08-25
Updated: 2011-08-25
Packaged: 2017-10-23 01:23:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/244694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Vacillating/pseuds/Am-Chau
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mal and Simon... spend some time together. Almost preslash.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dreams

Title: Dreams  
Author: Am-Chau Yarkona  
Rating: PG  
Summary: Mal and Simon... spend some time together. Almost preslash.  
Disclaimer: The crew of _Serenity_ belong to Joss Whedon, not me.  
Thanks to askye for the beta and discussion.

 

Mal sits astride the horse, comfortable in the saddle even  
in this mad dash, and gallops towards _Serenity_. He can’t see her, but  
he knows the general direction, and Zoe and Jayne don’t seem to be arguing.

Just get a little closer, and she’ll be there. The wind  
in his face smells dusty, with just a tang of the fuel-and-grease smell that is  
the hallmark of rim ships. Like his. She’s not far away.

They reach the outcropping of rock where Wash landed the  
ship, and reign in the horses. Jayne and Zoe dismount and run aboard, not  
looking back—but Mal still can’t see _Serenity_ , though somehow he can  
smell her.

He hears the ramp start to move, and urges his horse  
forward, thinking (illogically, and somehow he knows that this is wrong, though  
not why) to ride aboard: but the horse simply gallops on, over empty grassland.  
He shouts—No!—and…

…woke, mouth open in a scream he hoped was silent, body  
drenched in sweat and shaking.

Sitting up, he reached for the closest wall, feeling the  
hum of the engine reverberate through the ship, reminding himself that _Serenity  
_ was still flying. Strange how the shaking in his own body was alien and  
uncomfortable, but the vibrations in _Serenity_ were reassuring.

A few doors away, River screamed, and the sound seemed to  
echo in his head until he thought he might join her.

 _//That’s enough, Malcolm Reynolds,_ he told himself  
firmly. _That’s how people go crazy out her. Alone, and dreaming. I have a  
ship, a crew, and a job to do._

 _//Okay, so actually, we don’t have a job at the  
moment, unless you count Inara’s. And according to Kaylee, the ship’s  
falling apart..//_

He forced himself to sit up and swing his legs out into the  
chill air of the room. _//I still have a crew. Time to go and bother  
someone.//_

At first, Mal thought he’d go and talk to Zoe, he knew  
she’d understand that he didn’t want to be alone, but when he found that she  
and Wash were locked in their room and—well, there were noises. He could guess  
what sort of thing was going on, and he really didn’t want to face his second  
in command if he disrupted them.

Even the most loyal crew member had limits—had to have,  
really.

So. Two crew members down (Mal quickly shut off the mental  
image that phrase produced), six to choose from. Well, five, if you took into  
account River’s not-quite-there status.

He wasn’t going to Book. Once, that might have been his  
ideal choice, but now—no. Religion didn’t help at a time like this.

Not Jayne, either. Jayne wasn’t exactly the sort to go to  
when what you wanted was company and not a murder.

Inara might not mind; but she might. And if she decided to  
make a fuss and embarrass him in front of the rest, she’d do it properly and  
he’d never quite live it down. Mal walked past the door to her shuttle.

He looked in at Kaylee—she’d left her door open—but  
she was sprawled, fully dressed, across the bed, sound asleep. She looked so  
peaceful that he couldn’t bring himself to wake her.

 _//Which leaves Simon,//_ Mal reflected. Deliberately,  
he headed for the common area instead of Simon’s room, trying to tell himself  
he was looking for another distraction but he’d forgotten that the infirmary  
was only around the corner. 

“River?” Simon called, hearing noises outside.  
Footsteps on the metal gangway, and Mal suddenly found himself face to face with  
the worried doctor.

“Just me,” Mal said, taking a step back (how they’d  
got so close to start with, he wasn’t quite sure) and spreading his hands in  
an instinctive urge to be non-threatening.

“Ah. Were you looking for me, captain?”

“No, not really.” Mal glanced round, as if there might  
be something creeping up on him. “Just making sure things were okay.”

“Ah,” Simon nodded, and then added, “I couldn’t  
sleep, either.”

 _//Is it really that obvious why I’m here?//_ Mal  
wondered.“You sound worried about your sister." A blatant change  
of subject, but he knew Simon would always talk about River.

“She was yelling in her sleep about ten minutes ago. And  
these days she tends to be the first thing I think of when I hear noises I’m  
not expecting.”

“Understandable.”

They stood in awkward silence for a moment, neither quite  
sure what to say. Mal tried to conjure up a desire to drink the cold tea that  
was sitting on the stove.

“Well,” Simon said, eventually, “I guess I should try  
and get some sleep.”

“If you like,” Mal replied, turning away, starting to  
hunt for a mug. “No point trying to force yourself, though.”

“True.” Simon took a couple of steps towards Mal and  
managed to meet his eyes again. “And if I’ve got company…”

“Didn’t say I’d stay.” It was a routine protest.  
There was a relief in Mal’s eyes that betrayed the calm in his voice. 

“I was re-organising the drug cabinet.” Simon waved a  
hand vaguely towards the infirmary.

“Don’t let me stop you,” Mal said, pulling a mug from  
one of the cabinets and filling it with cold tea from the pot.

“Okay.” Unsure of what would happen, Simon started to  
walk up the steps that lead round to the infirmary. He was a little surprised to  
hear Mal follow him.

Mal sat on the exam bed, while Simon returned to his work,  
taking the bottles, boxes, and jars out, checking their labels and contents and  
then returning them to subtly different places.

“You really putting those in an order, or just where they  
fit neatest?” Mal asked, watching Simon work.

“Alphabetical order by chemical name,” Simon replied.  
“It helps when I need to find something in a hurry. And I’m checking how  
much there is of each thing, so that I know what’s most urgent to buy next  
time I get a chance.”

“All that, stored in your head?”

“Well, this is a tiny selection compared with what I’d  
have available on a core planet. Of course, there it would mostly be done on  
computers, or by a nurse; but as an intern, I was expected to have a grasp of  
how to do this without such aids.”

“Top three percent and all,” Mal said, but the  
remainder that Simon looked down on the situation here as less than ideal had  
stung a little. He didn’t like being forced to remember that his boat wasn’t  
the greatest place in the ‘verse—as far as some were concerned.

“… not the most difficult part,” Simon was saying,  
and Mal realised he hadn’t been paying attention. “Many of my classmates  
struggled with it, but I found learning emergency room procedures a lot more  
difficult. I didn’t learn well when there was real pressure.”

Mal nodded. “Ah.”

“What about you, captain?” Simon was still working, but  
now his eyes sought Mal’s between checking labels and places.

“I… did okay at school, I guess. Graduated, joined the  
army ‘cos I thought it was right.”

“Do you still think that? That it was right?”

“The Alliance taking over the whole ‘verse ain’t  
right, I know that much.”

“Is that what it’s about, stopping them taking over?”

“Stopping them winning. Stopping them takin’ over the  
‘verse and doing like they did to your sister to every clever girl.”

“Captain, I don’t think…” Simon’s voice trailed  
off. When he let himself, he *did* think. “I mean, it’s possible, but…”

“But what?” Mal asked.

Simon met Mal’s blue eyes. His mind went blank, and then  
spiralled away down a different path: _//but… butt… nice butt… Captain  
Tightpants, Kaylee had called him. She was right, Mal’s backside was…//_  
Simon didn’t dare wonder when he’d noticed. He forced himself look away from  
Mal and try and formulate an answer.

“I got River out,” Simon replied at last, “No point  
thinking about anything else until I’ve worked out what they did to her.”

He only wished he could stop thinking pointless thoughts,  
like how Mal looked when…

Aware that he’d stopped moving, Simon turned and walked  
the four paces across the infirmary to the cabinet where he kept the rest of the  
drugs.

Watching him every step of the way, Mal twisted on the  
bench until he was lying down, stretched out, chin propped up on one hand, and  
able to see the doctor wherever he went in the room.

“You never did tell me exactly how that underground group  
sprung her.”

“I’m not clear of the details myself. In essence,  
though, I believe they…” Simon began. He’d been preparing this, knowing  
that Mal or Zoe or Jayne or Wash or someone—maybe even River herself—would  
ask one day, and that made it easy to answer without being distracted.  
“…bribed someone within the compound to help them get through the  
security…”

 _//Well, at least I’m not dreaming,//_ Mal thought,  
letting his eyelids droop a little as he gazed at Simon, who was still talking,  
apparently quite happy to go on all night. “…must have been very dangerous,  
but I suppose they took very precaution they could. I paid them enough…”

Mal’s eyes closed. _//I can listen with them shut,//_  
he told himself. it wasn’t very convincing, even from inside.

A couple of sentences later, Mal was asleep, dreaming that  
he…

… walks, long, easy strides, along the metal corridors  
that let a person move around _Serenity_.

The cargo, he knows, is sold, though he can’t recall what  
it was; the crew are all aboard, the passengers are safe, and the ship is  
humming happily. Somewhere above, in the engine room, Kaylee is humming, a  
little cheerful counterpoint to the simple mechanical drone.

He can hear Simon’s voice, distant, talking in the  
soothing way he does when his sister needs calming.

Mal smiles. The dream ends, fading into darkness, and  
he sleeps on, peacefully.


End file.
